Presence over presents 🎁
Calton Hill, Edinburgh during my solo trip in December 2019 - golden hour was so beautiful and peaceful
December 25, 2020
Merry Christmas!! 🎄 Definitely feeling like the most un-Christmas Christmas this year. Being at home during the holidays is something that I'm not used to, as usually I'm in the United Kingdom celebrating with family, but obviously due to COVID, this year has been different.
I know that gift-giving is a big part of the holidays and life in general, but growing up, I never really understood the hype. Of course as a kid, I did get my fair share of presents but oftentimes, they were items that I had specifically requested from my parents. I have a horrible poker face but over the years I think I've perfected the "Oh my God, I love this so much! Thank you!" line while in my head thinking "Okay, who can I regift this to?"
I often felt pressured to get something for a friend or family's birthday or a Secret Santa exchange, but I never understood why. Why am I spending money and energy procuring something that the receiver might not even like? Why can't they just buy it for themselves? Why can't we spend that same amount of money on an experience instead? Why can't we donate this amount to charity instead of buying trinkets? Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to sound like a financially-aware Grinch, but I just don't see the point of thoughtlessly buying presents just to say you got them something.
Now I know one can counter argue the fact that if a lot of thought and effort was put into finding the perfect gift, then it should be okay? I guess, but I also have particular taste and like to be mindful of my possessions so I would rather not add anything to the collection.
Another reason why I feel so strongly against gifts is that I'm so proud to have gotten to a financial position in my life where I can treat myself and buy myself the things that I truly want. I know it's common to get big-ticket items as gifts but there's something so much more gratifying about working hard and buying exactly what I want for myself. (i.e. buying Mejuri diamond studs after 11 months of research and deliberation) I do understand that everyone is different and that to some, gift-giving is an essential way that they send and receive love, but I know that that's not me.
Last year, when I was in the UK, I saw an Instagram post that said "I don't want your presents, I want your presence". This hit me so hard and even thinking back to the emotions that I felt, I can feel the prick of tears in my eyes. It's become so easy to just hand someone a present, not knowing anything about how they really are and what's really going on in their life. I sometimes feel the closest people in my life becoming so distant with the constant pull of technology and social media. So no, I don't want to just be handed a cheque or present, instead I want quality time and meaningful conversations, because to me, that's priceless.
How do you feel about gift-giving over the holidays and in general?
Sending you lots of love and light,
-Reina xo
#solotravel #edinburgh #mindfulholidays #presenceoverpresents #introspection