Making time for what matters and prioritizing yourself

"Don't wait for "someday" to make time for what makes you come alive. Start today."

After reading Essentialism (full summary and notes can be found here), I started reading Make Time by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky.

Essentialism talked about choosing to do what matters most, and Make Time builds on that by outlining a framework on how to focus on those things (i.e. making time). I found Make Time super easy to read, funny as well as packed with actionable tips for every type of person.

Background

In the 21st century, there are two powerful forces that compete for our attention:

(1) Busy Bandwagon (BB)

BB represents a culture of constant busyness where every minute of your day must be filled with some calendar invite and going at full speed is the only way not to fall behind

(2) Infinity Pools (IP)

IPs are sources of endlessly replenishing content - think Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Netflix, TikTok - there is always more information if you keep scrolling
We're hooked to IPs because everyone is too, and we feel like we're missing out if we're not up to date or sharing what's going on in our lives
Another reason that IPs are so addicting is that they're made with love and are meant to keep us engaged and enthralled for as long as possible

Both have become defaults, when we try to take a break from the BB, the IPs lure us in, which then makes us feel like we're falling behind, which then creates a never-ending, vicious cycle.

Freeing ourselves from both these forces and taking control is impossible since willpower is a limited resource, and there will always be more tasks to be completed in the BB as well.

Again, the goal of Make Time is not to quit social media or make a radical change to your day-to-day life - it's about how to limit the influence of the BBs and IPs in our lives to focus on what really matters.

The book is split up into a four part framework - Highlight, Laser, Energize and Reflect, which are summarized below.

Highlight: start each day by choosing a focal point

By having a daily focal point, we are able to stop the blur of events whizzing by, slow down and actually savour and remember the moment.

Choose something to focus on that is either urgent (perhaps a deadline at work) or something that brings your satisfaction or joy and should ideally take 60-90 minutes to complete.

Tactics to make time for your Highlight:

Schedule/block time in your calendar
Flake/cancel plans in order to make time for your highlight (obvs not a frequent go-to)
Say no to plans/events from the start so you don't have to flake on them later!
Complete your highlight first thing in the morning to get it out of the way
Quit when you're done: we often try to cram more and more in once we accomplish something but stop, take a break - you've already done it!

Laser: beat distraction to make time for your highlight

So now that we've chosen what we want to focus on for the day, how do we go about ensuring that we can actually focus and get the task done? There's a lot of tactics for this section so I'll keep it brief:

Delete addicting apps from phone (Instagram!!), log out of accounts to create that speed bump when trying to go back on, turn all notifications off, have an empty home screen, wear a wristwatch (how many times have we turned to our phones to check the time and gone off on something else only to realize we still don't know what time it is?)
Skip the morning scroll and check-in on all social media apps, ignore the news (if it's important, it'll make it to you), have a clear working space
Schedule time to check your inbox, be slow to respond, reset expectations of when you'll be available, actually go off the grid during vacation
Make TV a treat: don't watch the news (again, if it's important, someone will tell you!), à la carte vs all you can eat (i.e. get those select channels and shows you actually like, rather than having a streaming service where everything is available to you all the time)
Set strict deadlines for yourself, have a timer and if unrelated thoughts and questions pop into your head, write them down for a later time

Energize: use the body to recharge the brain

If we can increase our energy, we can use those moments that would be otherwise lost to fatigue and brain fog. With a full battery, we have the power to be present, think clearly, and spend time on what matters.

If you want energy for your brain,you have to take care of your body.

A few tactics that I'm sure we all know about but need another gentle reminder about:

Move your body everyday whether this be for a walk or a workout, remember even 1 minute is better than 0 minutes!
Don't overeat (it takes 20 mins for our brains to realize we're full so take it slow!), eat real, unprocessed foods, and pack snacks
In regards to caffeiene: wake up before you caffienate, caffienate before you feel a crash coming, maintain constant energy throughout the day with greentea
Truly disconnect by practicing your version of shrin-yoku (forest-bathing), meditation, leaving your headphone at home when you go for a walk, and taking real breaks (which should not include checking IPs)
Spend meaningful time with your friends and family, and try to eat without the presence of screens
With regards to sleep: introduce soft lighting before sleeping and don't jet lag yourself by sleeping in on the weekends (try to evenly get 7-8 hours of sleep every night instead)

Reflect: adjust and improve your system

The beauty of these tips and techniques is that they are completely customizable - if you find that something's not working for you, switch it up! It's entirely up to you and what works in your schedule and life.

I personally keep notes to see what tactics are working for me and adjust accordingly, beause it's the small shifts that create the big results.

The goal of this reflect phase is to make time for what matters, find more balance and enjoy today a bit more!

Start "Someday" Today + Concluding Thoughts

There's always that thing in the back of our minds that we would do "if we had time". Or how many times have we said "I don't have time for this" - but ask yourself, is it that you don't have "time" or is it that you're not making time for what matters?

Our days are filled with so much running around and doing things that don't build up to anything in the long-term so the first step is to notice your patterns as well as determine your priorities.

When we start to create a practice of setting our personal priorities, daily life changes and other people around you will notice as well.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking "I don't have time for this" but then I correct that thought with "I do have time, it's simply a prioritization exercise on what I want to make time for"

As I said in my Essentialism blog post, we might not be in that position where are can control our schedule, but we can control our attention and other areas of our lives.

Let's all get a little bit better, together 💙

Sending you lots of love and light!

-Reina xo

p.s here are the notes I took while going through the book - there's something so therapeutic about looking back on my notes 💭